I am, however:

Your typical middle child from the Midwest, raised on memes and potatoes.

Incapable of ending a conversation.

Probably the least intimidating person you’ll ever meet with a finger tattoo.

Deeply fearful of walking out of the handicapped stall to see someone who actually needs it.

A collector of unsent tweets, unshared poems and dad jokes that I only share with people I know will hate them.